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insert wit here
I rant about what I want, and I generally want what I rant. Question everything, the answers are all around you.
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I wish I could text you and just ask you to come over and snuggle me and let me lie up next you and let you keep me warm and just forget for a bit. However there are manifold reasons why I can not and would not do this. The first being that you would never do it properly, you’d be all awkward about it and you wouldn’t know what to say; this is one of the reasons why I find it particular hard to like you, because you can’t be yourself around me. The second thing is due to the current living situation I’m in. The third being that there are not enough hours in a day to add that activity to my list of things to do. I could go on for a bit longer, but as insinuated previously, I don’t have a lot of time. Now that’s off my chest I can maybe procrastinate study.
Fucking hell I don’t know what’s wrong with me!
I can’t do anything. I can’t be awake, I can’t get anything done, I can’t do anything I usually do. I don’t know how much longer I can take of doing nothing but I don’t know what to do to make myself get off my arse! I can’t help it. It’s impossible, it’s like I’m paralised and nothing can get moving anymore. I’m not happy, in fact I’m super happy, but I’m still stressed and anxious and it’s because I can’t stop putting things off and I can’t get enough sleep.
If I want to fix this I know what I have to do. First I need to get enough sleep and have a regular bed time, second I need to stop drinking so often and so much, third I need to put 100% concentration into my study for certain blocks of time rather than a bit here a bit there, then I need to have time to do whatever the fuck I want and just generally keep on top of things.
I don’t have much to complain about but things are still a mess and I can’t seem to fix it. This is because every time I do try, it’s at times like these, times like 12.32am when it’s already too late.
Actually, there’s the basis of all my problems, too late. Too fucking late for everything.
